But, one of the most important things I've learned from this quarantine is, attempting to be productive 100% of the time is impossible and can even be emotionally and mentally damaging.
I think we can all agree that things suck right now. People are losing their jobs, homes, and lives each and every day. Those of us fortunate to still have those things are stuck indoors for the foreseeable future (maybe that's what you enjoy, though!). Nearly every aspect of life as we know it has changed completely.
For me, COVID-19 meant losing access to all on-campus facilities, including my laboratory, a.k.a. the lifeline of my thesis and ultimately, the progression of my doctoral degree. I was getting ready to defend my thesis in July, graduate in August, and take a much-deserved ten-day Caribbean island-hopping vacation with two of my best girl friends. Since mid-March, I've had to cancel my trip and postpone my graduation date until further notice. I was so close to finally leaving organized education for the first time in my 26 years on this earth when the rug was pulled out from underneath of me. Don't get me wrong; I am unbelievably grateful to be healthy, have a home that I can continue to pay for, live in a small city that remains relatively unaffected by the pandemic, and be in lockdown with a great roommate and my boyfriend (plus my dog and lizard) until this is over.
So...I should easily be able to be super productive with all this extra time I'm not spending doing experiments, right? That's so much time for writing! My thesis should be done in approximately a month at this rate!
Yeah, that's what I initially thought, too. Turns out this whole situation has a really negative impact on the human psyche. Several universities across the globe and the World Health Organization (WHO) have already published tons of papers and studies on how the pandemic has affected the general public's mental health. They've found that the general senses of paranoia and panic are affecting many people strongly during this time, especially when it comes to being able to complete work-related tasks.
For me, this whole situation has made my work seem insignificant and pointless when thousands of people just three hours south of my apartment are dying, even though I'm contributing to science, generally speaking. For the first few days of quarantine, I was able to keep to a 7-hour work day from the desk in my room. Since then, I have to split up my day into mini-chunks of work just to get anything done because my mind is constantly racing. I'm stressed because I'm not nearly as productive as I was in lab, and that stress is compounded by the fact that funding agencies are pulling money out of non-COVID-related research across the country. Always in the back of my mind, I consider what my plan will be if my funding goes under. Of course, I also don't want to disappoint my advisor; I'm lucky to have a supportive (yet strict) PI who expects and encourages the best from his graduate students.
What I'm trying to say is, don't beat yourself up for your lack of productivity. Taking things day by day is the best course of action right now; it is NOT the time to plan for the future! It's taken me a while to realize this, but I'm starting to understand it's definitely true. Letting go of things you don't have control of can be so freeing.
I'll be posting some of my work from home tips soon, catered to graduate students, of course! After all, I've spent about a month figuring out what does and doesn't work for me. Hopefully some of them work for you, too!
- Anna
No comments:
Post a Comment